“I said to myself, ‘this is what I used to do to my wife. My behavior is the reason why she lost her child.’”
A story of individual change from Bauchi state
I have lived in my community for the past fifty years. I am the Santali of Sarki (Cattle holder) and I am also a tailor. I have two wives and eleven children. I am also a member of the community development group.
A year before your people came I criticized, shouted and made unnecessary complains to my senior wife. At that point in time she was pregnant. I kept complaining even about those things that were not important. For example, I would ask her why she did that instead of this. She would mostly keep quiet. At times, she explained she was feeling weak. Gradually, she became depressed. However, I turned my eyes away from her and did not give it much thought. When she was nine months pregnant, she was ready to deliver. When the time came, she had to endure a prolonged labour. She was rushed to the hospital where she started bleeding profusely. Finally she gave birth to a child, but the child was not alive. The health workers put her on drips and she spent two days in the hospital. They charged me for her medical bills. All this time, I kept wondering and worrying about the cause. Why did she have to suffer like this? Finally, I prayed to Allah for an intervention.
One Sunday morning I watched your drama at our sarki’s palace. In the drama I saw Fatima’s husband and the way he behaved towards his wife. After the screening, I said to myself, ‘this is what I used to do to my wife. My behavior is the reason why she lost her child.’
I reached home late that day. My wives had also, by then, watched the drama. I discussed it with both of them. Then I said to my senior wife, ‘please forgive me for what has happened to you.’ She accepted my apology immediately.
Henceforth, my life took a new turn and I began to reassess my attitudes towards her. Now I show her love and care. Some months after she got pregnant and this time around she delivered safely.
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