“[My husband] told me he wants me to stop going out to hawk oranges and groundnuts promising that we will manage his little earnings until I deliver”
A story of individual change from Cross River state
I am a young woman of 20 years from a low financial background and a broken home. I grew up with a single parent, my father. I never enjoyed my childhood since my mother separated from my dad and left me to live with him when I was 7 years old.
It all started in 2011 when I moved to live with my husband. My pregnancy was not planned for, my bride-price was not paid, so this made my mother very angry and she abandoned me to the man who impregnated me. My husband did not have a steady income, he is a daily labourer who moulds blocks in building sites, so it was difficult for us to feed and take care of our needs. As if that was not enough, there was a fire outbreak in the compound where we lived which claimed our few possessions and left us homeless and stranded. I took into petty trading to assist my husband who at this time had become a total stranger to me. He used to nag at everything I did, shoutedat me if I didn’twake up early to tidy; he even beatme up and calledme names when I complainedabout body weakness and dizziness. He didn’t care about my feelings and that of our baby. I walked long distances to sell oranges, pears and groundnuts, yet he never appreciated my effort but became unnecessarily tense with me. Life was becoming unbearable as I had no one to turn to, not even my father because he had made several attempts to rape me when I was living with him. I was bitter and hoped for a change.
Luckily, the desired change came when CIET workers approached my house, had a discussion with me and requested to speak with my husband. I planned the meeting and persuaded my husband to stay. After that day, he became sober, he began to speak to me in a softer tone, helped me fetch water in the morning before leaving for work and did not allow me to bend down to sweep again. One day, he called me to have a discussion, he told me he wants me to stop going out to hawk oranges and groundnuts promising that we will manage his little earnings until I deliver and I am strong enough to resume my normal activities. He hugged and apologised for the pains he caused me. He is such a caring husband now; he buys me and my baby things and tries his best to make us happy. I had my baby without complications, she is strong and healthy.
My life was becoming miserable, my relationship with my husband was fast slipping out of my hands but now, he has returned into my arms like a miracle and I am so happy.
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