Cross River individual 3

 “Now I have help and support from my husband, even my sister-in-law”

A story of individual change from Cross River state

I am a farmer of yam and cassava, I trade the yams I gotfrom my farm and process the cassava into garri which I also trade. I also sell soya bean milk. I am a mother of seven; 3 girls and 4 boys among them are two sets of twins.

When I was pregnant for the first time, I was always involved in heavy work like harvesting cassava, washing and soaking it to make Akpu (fufu). I would soak 10 pots a day and this involved bending to wash. The following day, I would carry the Akpu on my head to sell at the market which is quite far away. I was also involved in breaking wood and weeding my farm as well as cooking for myself and my husband.

During the eighth month of that pregnancy I started having serve pains. I told my neighbour, who was more experienced since she had children, how I was feeling but she told me to shut up that such pains were normal and common. Even when I told her that I was feeling continuous pain with numbness, she advised that I wait patiently for the 9th month. I delivered at home but it was a still birth then I developed severe sickness and was rushed to the hospital, where I was treated.

Some months later, I got pregnant again and continued my daily routine; the pregnancy only lasted 6th months as I had miscarriage due to severe bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital and my stomach was flushed. In all this time, I was not told any reason why this was happening. People were not helpful as some avoided coming around me and others believed that I was not a woman because other pregnant women were involved in harder work than me yet delivered safely.

Suddenly, I got pregnant for the 3rd time. I still continued my daily work since I had no one to help me. My husband was not of any help at all. He would wake up and go to his farm without bothering to see how I was, but God intervened for me, I delivered my first child safely.

In December 2011, when I met your colleagues, I was already 1 month pregnant with my fifth child. The female colleague advised I stop breaking fire wood, clearing of grasses and frying of garri during my pregnancy. I took her advice, stopped heavy work and talked with my husband about it. My husband gave me money to trade. Now I sell soya bean and my husband does the garri work. He does both his farm work and mine. To me, he has really changed. Before he did not care for my health but since the CIET intervention, he always assists me in house work. During my last antenatal, he provided the money and even checked the date of the next appointment. He even spoke with his sisters to help me when I need help.

The story is significant to me because now I have help and support from my husband, even my sister-in-law.

Return to the voices page or to the most significant change page.