“Suddenly, my husband and I stopped quarrelling, fighting was not part of our relationship, he was always with me all through the period of my pregnancy”
A story of individual change from Cross River state
I am married to a farmer who is an Okada rider (cyclist business). I am also a farmer and I have 5 children, my last child is eleven months old and the eldest is twelve.
When I got married to my husband, he was of the belief that a woman must care for herself, her husband and children. During my first pregnancy, my husband would abandon me and go after women. He would always come home late and I was not always happy with him, so we quarreled a lot and even fought. We were never at peace with each other. He would not even give me money for food, his daily life style then was just waking up in the morning, going out, coming back late and having sex with me whenever he wanted. This continued throughout my second, third and fourth pregnancy.
During my fifth pregnancy, we had a fight that was very serious. By this time my neighbours were tired of separating us, so they usually allowed us to fight and whenever we stopped, they knew we were tired. Five days after this fight with my husband, I had a miscarriage. Even before then, I felt very severe pains and dizziness, especially after the fight. When I had the miscarriage I became very sad and regretted even marrying him. I felt like leaving my community and even washing plates just to earn a living rather than stay with a man that does not love me and keeps afflicting me with wounds.
Fortunately, I got pregnant again and my pregnancy was three months along when I met the CIET people (male and female) who came to visit me in my house although I had already watched a movie (docudrama) earlier that month in my chief’s place. The female spoke with me and I opened up and told her how my husband was treating me. After her regular visit, she advised that I stop engaging in fights with him and instead I should keep quiet when he quarrels with me or even go somewhere else to avoid answering him. I started applying her method and it worked for me. Meanwhile the male was also talking with my husband each time they had an appointment.
Suddenly, my husband and I stopped quarrelling, fighting was not a part of us, he was always around me all through the period of my pregnancy and even if he is going out, he tells me where he is going and he always comes home on time. Now we are living in peace, I no longer feel like leaving him, I know he loves and cares for me and I am very happy now.
Now there is peace in my house, and between my husband and I.
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